Hugo A. Roele
These blogs are based on both my professional work as trainer, coach, mediator, writer and tool developer and the often unusual challenges I've faced in my personal life. More ...
Blogs
Ping needs
There's seldom just one need asking for attention. More often several things want to be heard and seen. A part of you may feel that you need some fresh air or something to drink (although it may not be very urgent). Another part thinks about some errand, that needs to be done before you can cook. You may wonder if it's 'safe' to tell your story to a friend, colleague or therapist. And maybe something recently came up that made you very angry, scared or sad.More ...
Why needs?
There is a 'list'of words, that we call 'Needs'. According to our experience these words lead to a higher quality of communication. The way I use and see needs in the Deck of Needs and the Flower of Needs is based on some core thoughtlines, that I see as particularly usefull. Working with NVC (Non Violent Communication), several other methods and many years of both life and work experience have strengthened my belief in the value and usefulness of these thoughtlines. More ...
Listening with three senses
When we think about listening, we often think about one of our senses: hearing. The result of listening is often described as 'being heard'. After working with cards like the Deck of Needs for more than 15 years, I've come to the conclusion, that you can reach a much deeper level of being heard (and seen), when you add two more senses: seeing and feeling. More ...
Listening with your Body
In 2019 I've added the card 'Body' to the Empathy Path. Several methods have shown me, that specific thoughs, images and memories are somehow connected to a specific part of the body. Using this concept has often helped me to either reach a deeper level of 'being heard' by connecting the core message to the body OR using signals of the body (often pain) to find thoughts, images and feelings, that want to be found and heard. I've found this so useful in my work as coach and transformative listener, that I've added to my 6-step model of listening: the empathy path. More ...
Two models for communication: 1. Listening and 2. Speaking
Wishes and Strategies